Why you are not "You"

Why You are not "You"?

• Do you know yourself? 
• Do people know you in the same way as you know yourself?
• Do you live your life as you want to live? 

The first question  will be answered in "yes",almost by everyone, though nobody will realize that s/he is telling a lie. I'm not blaming you for this. We know ourselves to the extent we try to know. And we all know how much time we have for this in a busy life. 

The second question will be answered in "No" by almost of the people. One possible reason will be given that nobody is able to understand you. The second one, you feel proud on the way you can make fool of people (many people think so and feel happy about it; though they are not aware weather they are making a fool of people, of themselves, or are being made fool by people; that's another issue),so-called smartness you think. The third option is that you don't have the communication skills to convey to the people what kind of person you are. Well, I know that nobody is going to accept the last option. 

The third question will be answered in "No, definitely No ".And this is the biggest source of the frustration exists in the world. You would like to focus on the last question only but the first two are equally important as they lead to the third one. 

Why you are not "You "?

• Because you yourself are not aware about your or you are confused. The result is that you accept whatever people tell you about.Of course, you'll be frustrated for this.
• Your preferences (in case, you are aware about yourself):

When you have self-awareness, only then the following discussion is useful for you :

First of all, remember it's always your choice depending on your preference. You may have the following reasons why you don't live according to your real self   :

Your Real Self burdened with socio-cultural norms and expectations 

1. Expectations  of significant others
2. Fear of rejection  
3. To get social approval   
4. To be popular 
5. To avoid confrontation 
6. To make your life peaceful (monotonous you can say) 
7. Lack of courage or confidence 
8. Learned helplessness 
9. Lack of resources or you are dependent on others 
10. You don't have a better option in your mind than to follow the prevailing customs
11. To escape from freedom  
12. To avoid being responsible for your own doings
13. Fear of losing your loved one 
14. Internalization of socio-cultural norms
15. And the worst thing can be in some situations :To save your life as in case of honour killing

Whatever may be the reason ,the fact is that you are living a fake life. And of course, you will feel an emptiness in your life. You have buried yourself in many layers in such a way that nobody can see the original "you".Even you yourself will not be able to see yourself if you continue suppressing yourself for a long time. 

What can be done to get you back? 

1. Make a revised edition of your "real self".Yes, as our age and experiences change, we too change.If we are working with the same self as we were in our childhood, it will be as ridiculous as to advise the same diet to a child and an adult.
2. Make a list of activities and styles which are not congruent to your real self and write the possible risks of leaving them.
3. Classify the above activities in two groups :one, you can change immediately,;the second, for which you have to wait, for example when you'll get a job. 
4. Choose one by one from the first list and start killing the demon. 
5. For second list, use means -end analysis   technique or what are the pre-requirements for reaching the goal. 
6. Remind yourself about what you are, where you are to go, etc. on a daily basis so that you don't lose yourself back in tough times. 
7. Explore yourself as much as you can. Ask questions about what you do; what is the purpose of that; are you doing this for you or for others. I'm not telling you to be selfish. You have the responsibility towards your significant others, but it should be clearly defined by you. Then it will be included in your preference and will become a part of your "real self "and not a burden on you. 
8. Now what are you waiting for? Need more suggestions? I don't think you need more. First apply these. 

All the best! 
👍👍👍
My another blog :mymotive1.blogspot.com